Letter to my younger self

Dear 25-year-old me,

It’s May of 2009. You won’t sleep at all and you’ll stare at the outfit you’ve got picked out for that day…plus think about your journey that got you here. You’ll soon walk across that stage inside the Satellite Student Union building, shake hands with the professors who mentored you along the way, then end your morning by calling yourself “Fresno State graduate.”

Those three words in quotation marks will echo inside your mind forever, plus get you to ride so many emotions. Lorenzo, you were once that kid who struggled in school and came home with the bad grades. You were guilty of hanging out with the wrong crowd and those people ended up taking you on a path that nearly derailed you. You even switched majors, which unfortunately delayed your hope to be done with school early.

But the moment you put on that cap and gown plus stroll across that stage, it’ll be the greatest day of your life Lorenzo. You’ll be the first among your brothers to say you wore the cap and gown proudly, and your biggest support system will be there to witness it.

You overcame that obstacle. Now do yourself a favor Lorenzo: celebrate and cherish the moment today, because more road blocks are coming.

For the next two years, the only source of income you will have will be from a freelance crime reporting job in Fresno. Because of your financial situation, you’ll face either sleeping in your car or sleeping on concrete. Then once that settles, you’ll find and move into a house where the room will cost $600 to $700 to rent, leaving you with barely enough money to put food on your own table plus cause you to delay your loan payments. You’ll have to live off of gift cards that come with a $15 or $20 price tag and you’ll have to stretch that out as much as you can; meaning you won’t have that three-course meal you’ve always been accustomed to and might have to live off of one thing off the menu. It will be awhile before you can have breakfast, lunch and dinner all on the same day.

Yes, this feeling will leave your stomach empty, but you know what? It should leave plenty of room to make you hungry for success and redemption. It’s practically a life lesson. Weather that storm, Lorenzo, because storms do break apart at any given moment.

Once the skies clear, you’ll land your first full-time job in December of 2011 at a city you’re not familiar with: Reedley. Two mutual connections will help get you there because they saw your knowledge and enthusiasm for sports writing. You’ll go from living off of gift cards to finally living that full-time job life. You’ll do what you’re more passionate about: covering sports and highlighting key performers. You’ll give this small town publication an element they’ve never had before, especially through an online platform. And they’ll embrace the hell out of you right away, so will many in the community you’ll meet…

But then you’ll witness changes, plus see the neighborhood for what it really is.

In will come in past scribes who were rejected by daily newspapers. While they got experience, they’ll come with scorn in their hearts and will walk on egg shells because of what happened in the past. You’ll discover that the person at the top is the one who lacks vision for change and believes what worked in the 1960s and 70s for publications still works now…and his attitude will permeate throughout the room.

Outside of the office, you’ll encounter parents and coaches who will praise your work one day, but throw you under the bus the next. This demographic is also known for not being happy even if they get what they want in the paper, plus will act like they’re more powerful than the city mayor. There will also be parents blasting you for not doing stories on “Little Johnny” playing Little League baseball or not doing stories on “Little Trajan bringing awareness in the community because he has asthma.” Lastly, you’ll realize that one of your new co-workers – the one who will tell you “I’m on your side” and “I want to help get you your next job” – will reveal himself to be the biggest spider in the room: he’ll catch you in his web, spin things his way and try to break you.

Do yourself a favor Lorenzo: the moment they bring these people in, update your resume and start applying for other jobs immediately. You don’t need to be in Reedley for two years or five. Don’t waste that much time there with those surroundings. All you need is one year.

It’s not conducive for you to stay in an area where jealousy, disdain and a lack of foresight runs rampant. Plus you’ll finally learn how places that lack vision for convergence really operate. Bailing out early just might save you from leaving with a bitter taste in your mouth. Whoever does stay true to you in that town, stay in contact with them as much as you can. But that place is a lemon car lot: full of rejected vehicles with a short-mileage span. You’re more along the lines of a newer model that just needs new tires to stay on your path.

The real people you need to get acquainted with are the ones with training ventures sprouting up across California and the ones who have seen what you’ve done for Central Valley athletes, all of whom hoping your magic can work in their region. Unlike your former co-worker - who only has tunnel vision for one school - these guys have a true vision for inspiring others and getting their regions to grow through sports. Translation: they see things all around them, just like you. You’ll meet these people through Passing Down, your blog Cali Gold Mine and later on, scout.com.

These are the people you’re better off linking up with. You will meet them in the following regions: the 916, the 559, the 661, the 805, the L.A. region, Orange County, the Inland Empire and San Diego. I know it’s a lot of miles Lorenzo, but the journey is all worth it. They will think the way you think and envision what you envision. Another thing to keep in mind, when they say thank you for highlighting and pushing out their future college student-athlete, they’ll mean it.

Enjoy that May morning with no regrets. And whatever vision you have Lorenzo, keep it embedded in your mind. There will be people who will try to take it out of your head, but you can get them out of your head and add an arsenal of supporters up and down California or the West region.

Sincerely,

Your 32-year-old self.